A Healing Story (Stories Book 3) Read online

  “More,” he says, “let me blow you.”

  “No.”

  “No?” He flashes those pretty blue eyes and I almost cave.

  “It’s my turn.” Gently, I push him down onto the bed.

  “You don’t have to,” he tries to protest, “just because I-”

  “Shh. Let me work.”

  I press a kiss just below his navel and he lets out a breath. With a smug smile and nimble fingers, I pull his sweats and boxers down.

  His dick sits so pretty, a bit paler than the rest of his skin. Closely cropped blond curls, nice round, full balls.

  I’m going to have fun playing with this. Matthias might know how to suck dick, but he’s never had it reciprocated by another man before.

  To Bas’s dismay, Jamie and Rhys taught me how to give an amazing blow job when I was eighteen. I plan on using every tool in my arsenal on him tonight.

  “Fuck,” he breathes.

  I’m too busy licking up the pre-cum to respond but internally I cheer.

  I don’t stay in one spot for long; I learn all about him. What makes him sigh, what makes him moan, and what makes his body quake in ecstasy.

  As I taste his cum on my tongue I realize we haven’t talked about test results and condoms. Shit. I am usually way more diligent than this. As much as I hate the taste of latex, I also know how important it is to stay protected.

  With one more good suck and long lick, I pull off his cock and move so I’m sitting next to him.

  My hand begins playing with him so he doesn’t protest too much, but his focus is on me.

  “I was tested not that long ago,” I tell him. “Everything is negative on my end. I haven’t been with anyone but you in a long time. An embarrassingly long time.”

  “I’m clean too,” he says.

  I pull my hand from his cock and he whines.

  “Here’s your second lesson of the night. Use the terms positive and negative when you’re talking about test results. Saying you’re ‘clean’ means those who do have an STI or are HIV-positive are ‘dirty’ and that is so ignorant and disheartening. It creates stigma and many people don’t get the help they need because they think they’re not worthy because they’re ‘dirty’.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it.”

  I give him a sad smile, “I know. Many people don’t. But it’s something that’s important to know. Especially when it comes to men. Because HIV is still a huge taboo subject and thinking that someone is ‘unclean’ is just salt in the wound.”

  “I get it. I know better now.” He sits up, “that killed the mood, huh?” He runs a hand through his hair. “I haven’t been with anyone in a while either. When you walked in on me was the last time and protection was used then.”

  Leaning over, I kiss him. “Mood’s not killed for me,” I say, “safe sex is hot.”

  He laughs but kisses me back. One hand trails down to my pajama pants. “Why am I the only one naked?”

  “Are you? We should probably fix that.”

  I take off the rest of my clothes and the nerves begin to set in.

  “You’re gorgeous.” He kisses my shoulder. “I want you inside me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive. Please.”

  “I need to stretch you. I won’t risk hurting you.”

  I reach into the nightstand and grab a condom and lube.

  “We don’t need that,” he points at the condom. “We’re both negative. Haven’t been with anyone else. Don’t want to be with anyone else.”

  I’ve died and gone to heaven. I was a good little boy and the sexy, vulnerable man in my bed is my reward.

  “Lay back,” I whisper. I drop the condom on the bed. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about it yet.

  Matthias spreads himself out and I have to keep myself from coming right then and there because fuck he looks amazing.

  All long and lean and mine.

  Opening the lube, I squirt a little on my finger before resting said finger against his hole. I don’t push or prod or anything. I just set it there so he can get used to it. He jumps at first but I can feel his body relax after a second or two.

  Slowly, so slowly I feel like I’m never going to get inside him, I press my finger in.

  “Oh,” he exhales.

  “How’s it feel?”

  “Strange. In a good way? Or at least not in a bad way.”

  I take my time prepping him. Moving one finger in and out slowly before introducing him to two, then three.

  “Fuck, that’s weird. But I kind of like it.”

  I snort before curling my fingers and searching for his prostate. When I find it he jerks and I hold his hip with my free hand. “And now?”

  “Love. Definitely love it.”

  When I’m confident that he’s stretched enough I slowly remove my fingers. He whines in protest. “Don’t worry, baby. I have something better for you.” Lord just shoot me now. This man has turned me into a bad porno.

  I grab the lube and slick my cock. “Are you sure about going bare?”

  “I don’t even care anymore, just fuck me.”

  “I won’t be fucking you, baby. I’ll be making love to you. As cheesy as that sounds.”

  Matthias sucks in a breath but before I can worry he nods. “Please.”

  “This will be easier on your hands and knees.”

  “I...it would be better if I was able to see you.”

  “Ride me.”

  I lay beside him, gripping the base of my dick with one hand. “You can control how much you take and how fast you go.”

  He scrambles to get into position.

  “Are you sure about this? Lots of queer men don’t have anal sex.”

  “You’re asking me this while I’m literally hovering over your dick?”

  “I have to be sure. There’s no going back once we do this.”

  In response he begins to lower himself onto me. We both gasp when the head of my cock pops through the ring of muscle.

  His thighs shake and I let go of my dick to rub them with both hands. “Go slow, you’re okay.”

  He nods and takes slow, measured breaths before lowering himself further. The feel of his tight heat is insane. He’s going to ruin me for any other ass and I‘m glad for it.

  He makes it halfway or so before he has to stop again.

  “How you doin’?”

  “Good. It’s all good. Weird but good.” He huffs out a breath.

  All of a sudden he bears down and his ass swallows my cock. “Fuck,” I yell.

  He lets out a breathless laugh. “I was tired of waiting.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Stings but it’s fading now.”

  He rotates his hips a few times and we both groan. I run my hands over all the flesh I can reach, steadily ignoring his cock, which is slowly getting hard again. He didn’t go all the way soft upon entry, but he did lose some of his erection. The fact that he’s hardening up again is a beautiful sight.

  Matthias lifts up a bit before sliding back down. “Fuck, baby,” I groan.

  As he finds a rhythm that works for him I focus on not embarrassing myself by coming. I don’t want to be that guy because it’s cliche as fuck, but we’re already there so. Matthias is amazing, from his mind and heart all the way to his ass, and I never want to leave.

  It’s not the best sex I’ve had, because he’s an ass virgin, but it is perfect for us.

  The longer he rides me the more confident he gets. I start to meet him thrust for thrust, one of my hands grips his hip, hard enough to leave bruises but it only spurs him on.

  “Fuck, I need you to fuck me,” he pants between thrusts.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, stop being so damn noble and fuck me.”

  Wrapping both arms around him, I shove us over, the move causes my cock to slip out but as soon as I’m hovering over him I guide it back in.

  “Grab a pillow,” I say as I pull out
almost all the way.

  He practically shoves one in my face and I laugh. After placing it under his hips I thrust back in—hard.

  “Neil,” he moans as I grab a hip and a shoulder and start fucking him in earnest.

  His hands grip whatever piece of me they can reach, nails digging in, he holds on as he begins to lift his hips and meet me thrust for thrust.

  “Shit,” I breathe.

  Leaning down I kiss him messily. My lips move from his down to his neck and collar bone. I bite him, enough for him to feel it, but not so that it leaves a mark.

  Matthias moans and starts to reach for his dick but I beat him to it. It’s slick with pre-cum and I jerk him to the same rhythm as my thrusts. All finesse has gone out the window. It’s just Matthias and me and our need for one another.

  I grip his dick a little harder and suddenly he’s coming all over my hand. The subsequent tightening of his ass has me moaning and shaking with my repressed orgasm.

  Giving in, I thrust hard into his perfect heat a few more times before I come deep inside him.

  Even after my cock spits what feels like a gallon of cum into him, my hips still move before eventually slowing.

  When all movement ceases we just lie with each other. My soft cock is still inside him but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he’s here in my arms and what we just shared will be something I think about until my dying day.

  When I finally pull out he winces and I groan. “I’m sorry, there isn’t really a delicate way to pull out.”

  He snorts. “It’s fine.”

  I lay on him for a while longer before asking the question I’ve been dreading, “do you regret it?”

  “Never.” He tightens his arms around me. “It was...it was perfect.”

  “It was. There aren’t words to describe it, but perfect comes damn close.” I kiss him, slow and sweet. “I should get you cleaned up.”

  “Think this pillow is out of commission,” he says slowly, “I can feel the jizz running out of me onto it.”

  We laugh and I shrug it off. “We can share a pillow.”

  I don’t want to move but I have to. Dried cum is a fucking bitch. Almost as bad as wet cum, or cum in the hair.

  I grab the package of baby wipes off the bathroom counter and bring it back to bed with me. Once we’re cleaned up and the jizz pillow is tossed elsewhere, we snuggle under the covers.

  Matthias falls asleep quickly, but it takes me a long time. There’s just enough light in the room that I can make out his profile in the dark room. Setting a hand on his heart, I count his breaths for a beat to make sure he’s really asleep, then I lean down and whisper, “I love you,” in his ear before kissing his head.

  Matthias.

  I shift in my chair, my ass blissfully tender after last night. Unfortunately for me, lowly associates don’t get the day after a major holiday off. After all, rich people still have to make money and I’m the guy that makes sure they do.

  Sighing, I lean back in my chair. It pulls another delicious ache out of my ass and I smile. I’m not the only one here, but it’s bullshit that any of us are here at all. Of course in this field we have to prove to be the best if we ever want to move up.

  I’ve been here ten years. I moved up from junior associate to associate in all that time. Back then, getting named a non-equity partner was the dream. Now being home with my boyfriend is.

  The thought jump starts my brain.

  Last night Bas was thankful that they have the means to start their own company after quitting their job. It went over my head then because it was a fantasy nothing more.

  If being with Neil has taught me anything it’s that I can do whatever the fuck I want. I just have to do it.

  With that, I pack up my stuff, which isn’t much, and make my way to my supervisor’s office.

  Harris Blackshaw is sitting at his desk, pretending to work. It’s what he’s been doing for the past five years since his promotion. It’s like he made it to a comfortable place in the company and gave up on life. I don’t want that.

  “Matthias? Is there a problem?”

  “No, I just wanted to let you know that today is my last day. Actually these are my last few minutes.”

  “Excuse me?” Harris sits up straight. “What are you saying.”

  “I’m saying I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I’ll send an email later this afternoon with my official resignation and a report of all my accounts, but I’m done. I quit.”

  “Now, Matthias, we can talk about this. Maybe when the partners return on Monday we can sit down and talk about this. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to give you whatever you want.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” I shrug, “but there’s only one thing I want and I’m not going to find it here. It was good working under you, Harris. Try not to let them suck the rest of your soul out.”

  Harris sputters but I’m already gone.

  When I make it to my car a sense of freedom washes over me. I feel lighter than I have in years.

  I want to shout what I’ve done from the rooftops. I want to celebrate in some way, and there’s only one person I want to do that with.

  *

  “What are you doing here?” Neil asks as he lets me in. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

  “That was before I quit.”

  “What? Matthias, you’re serious?”

  “Very serious.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m tired of being miserable.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Right now I’m going to wrap up my accounts and send an email to my former supervisor, then I’m going to do whatever you want. I figured I’ll take some time off before deciding what I want to do. I have plenty of money and want to make sure I do things right this time.”

  Neil shakes his head but there’s a small smile on his face, “you’re crazy but if you’re happy I’m happy.”

  Grabbing him by the hips I pull him into me. “I’m happier than I ever knew I could be.”

  His dark eyes are filled with warmth and something that scares the shit out of me, but I don’t want to run away from it. No, I want to be worthy of the feelings I see in his eyes.

  Neil.

  Matthias: I think I’m going to be sick.

  Neil: You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.

  Matthias: No, I need to. I’m just scared.

  Neil: The worst that could happen is he says no.

  Matthias: Or yes. And then it won’t be just an idea in my head. I would have to follow through.

  Neil: Whatever happens, you got this, baby.

  Matthias: You have a lot more confidence than I do.

  Neil: Because I know him. He’s not unreasonable

  Matthias: We’ll see.

  I don’t respond because what more can I say? We exhausted the topic last week while I was on vacation and again last night when he couldn’t sleep. I kept telling him he could wait. He’s just getting used to everything, but he wants to get it over and done with, lest he lose his nerve.

  “What’d you do last week?” Rhys asks, leaning against my desk.

  “Nothing much. Hung out with Bas. Took some photos. Usual stuff. How was your vacation?”

  “It was great. We’re thinking about going to California next year.”

  “Really?”

  He shrugs, “yeah. Something different. Noah and River haven’t been back since they moved, not that there’s anything out there for them. Aside from work, Jamie and I have never been so it’d be nice. We’ll see though.” He pauses for a beat before saying, “I talked to Kelly.”

  “And?”

  He sighs, “We’re giving it until the end of the year. We’re too busy to be a man down now. She apologized and says she’s going to try to be more sensitive or something like that. I don’t care how much we need her or how good she is. I won’t put up with that kind of shit.”

  “I know
. That’s why I didn’t wait to tell you. Even though I wanted to.”

  “I’m giving her another chance because she’s young and impressionable, and I think being here will do her good.”

  I nod in agreement. I don’t think Kelly is a bad person, she just needs to open her mind a little. Now that she knows our deal maybe she’ll let go of some of her preconceived notions.

  The phone rings and I wait a beat before answering it, “Snapshot this is Neil.”

  “It’s me, I’m so nervous.”

  “One moment please,” I press hold. “Can you tell your better half that the phone’s for him.”

  Rhys raises an eyebrow but pushes away from the desk. “Send it to the office.”

  I nod and unmute the call. “I’m going to transfer you to the other phone. You okay?”

  “No, but I’ll live. Maybe.”

  “Call me after if you want, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Talk to you later.” I transfer the call and blow out a breath.

  I try to get some work done but I’m so fucking nervous for them both.

  “Neil,” River catches my attention.

  “Yeah?”

  “I need help.”

  I go over to her and see that she’s doing homework. “With what?”

  “Are you good at math? Rhys sucks and Noah’s not here.”

  “Not really, what kind of math?”

  “Fractions.”

  I grimace. “I’ll give it a shot but I’m not really that good at them. Bas is better, you remember them?”

  “Yeah. They wear pretty clothes.”

  I laugh, “they do. Why don’t we see if they’re able to Facetime us?”

  “Okay.”

  I’m thankful for the distraction and glad that River trusts me enough to talk to not only me, but Bas as well. So different from the girl she was last fall.

  I text Bas, asking if they’re available to help with fifth grade homework and send another text to Matthias for extra encouragement.